If you’re dating someone who is prone to cheating, given the chance, they will cheat – that’s obvious, right? However, with over 2,500 dating websites and services in the United States (according to Forbes), a cheater is now able to access more outlets than they could in the past. Because of how easy these apps and websites are to access, even a partner who is not prone to cheating, is tempted by these services.
Before we break down the top three signs of infidelity, remember that simply because your partner is showing behaviors that are on this list, it doesn’t mean that they’re cheating on you – but it warrants an explanation from them.
Changes in Appearance
We’ve seen this on magazines, advice blogs, heard it on radio talk shows, and read it in divorce attorney blogs – a change in appearance. Simply changing your appearance, however, doesn’t mean that you’re having an affair. There are two changes that you need to differentiate here: Consistent & Intermittent
Consistent changes are changes in appearance because they feel depressed, tired of their looks, or simply want to be a better version of themselves. These changes happen all the time. People who go on diets because they feel unhealthy, or people who decide to look better in public to be respected or appreciated. If the change is at work, maybe they’re looking for a promotion.
Usually, when this happens, the change is progressive – think of a hockey stick style chart. In other words, the change starts small, they discuss it with their loved ones, and then it shoots up as they start to see change.
This is not a sign of cheating (not usually), this is a sign of a person becoming a better version of themselves.
Intermittent appearance changes or changes that happen in random patterns, in the other hand, are signs that something is off. This is usually what we look for. When your partner gets dressed up because they’re having an event at work – even though they didn’t care about it in the last few years.
When your partner dresses up for work because they want people to see them better – YET – this “dress-up” only happens once or twice per week.
Every time your partner gets “dressed up” they end up having to stay late at work.
Your partner decides to start working out, but nothing else around their life changes to account for the new fitness goals. i.e. – Working out every Friday, but the rest of the week they lay around the house being unhealthy.
Usually, when a person is making a change for the better, the change is constant. If your partner is making a change for the better but “the better” only happens every other week, it’s time get some explanations.
Accuses YOU of Cheating.
And here you thought your partner was having an affair… suddenly, it’s you who’s cheating. Talk about a twist!
Many people will tell you that this happens because your partner is feeling guilty, or because they want to blame the affair on you, or because they want to redirect their emotions towards someone else.
What ever the case may be, we have caught hundreds of cheaters who all blamed their spouse of cheating.
What we’ve been able to gather is this:
When a person is married, or in a committed relationship, they don’t want to hurt their significant other. Maybe they value their marriage – they have children, have assets, have a business together, or even pets.
If that same person goes out and haves an affair, it could make them feel like “cheating is easy” and if I’m doing it, then it’s possible that they’re doing it too. So, they blame their partners and question them to see if they’re cheating or having an affair.
At the same time, this is putting their partners in the defensive and catches them off guard. The more the non-cheating partner focuses on their own actions, the less they can focus on the cheating partner’s patterns.
Sudden Possessive Behaviors
It’s okay to have a life outside of your marriage – to a limited extent. We’re talking about having girl/guy talks with your friends that your partner is not privy of. Maybe it’s work talk that is not relevant to the day to day goings of your relationship.
Even social media, maybe your partner is a member of a community – gaming, hobby, or professional – and he doesn’t want to share his username or password.
Sometimes your partner may have company phone with confidential information, or a company laptop, or even a device with private information. If this is the case, there are usually legitimate reasons why your partner is being possessive.
However, if you find that your partner is locking you out of social media accounts, changing passwords to email systems, or even to their cellphone, it may be time to worry.
If they become extremely possessive about their phone, questioning you why you want to see it, or becomes uncomfortable when his phone or laptop is out of sight, this is a good time to want to consider what he doesn’t want you to see, and why.
If your partner has perfect explanations for all these items on the list, then it’s possible that they’re telling the truth. But at the end of the day, you are the only one who knows the relationship inside and out. Listen to your intuition – it’s usually right.
Call us for a free consultation, and if you’re never hired a private investigator before, here is what you should expect from a private investigator.